I Have A Life To Live, And I Need To Live It In The Best Way Possible

Hello again! I'm writing to you from the confines of the secret, abandoned office, whose floor I will need to clean shortly as I am spilling pizza everywhere.
 
Still, despite the ‘leave no trace’ attitude that use of a hidden office necessitates, this is probably the very best thing that’s happened to me in the last 6 months at work.  Having a little place to get away, where no one can find me and watch me and bother me and ask me for things is such a relief.  Every time I walk into the office I breathe a huge sigh.
 
…though they did take away the poster board that hid me completely from view.  Sadness.
 
Anyway, onward to what you’re all here to hear about: writing news. 
 
Yesterday I finished my submission package for Tor Books.  They accept unsolicited manuscripts, it appears, and so I’m planning to send in my book!  It might actually be a really good fit…despite being a thriller, Traditor has a definite sci-fi spin.  It’s set in the future, it deals with advanced technology, it imagines a dystopian society, etc. etc. 
 
Anyway, the submission package took forever to complete.  I had to completely re-write my cover letter, lengthen my synopsis, and shorten my writing sample.  Nightmarish.  Then I had to go back through and reformat EVERYTHING.
 
It’s done now, though!  I just ran out to buy stamps, so I’ll be posting it (they only accept snail mail submissions) later today.  I’ve gone over the submission guidelines a thousand times, but I’m still nervous that I’ve missed something.  Hopefully not…
 
 
So one thing I’m having difficulty with is finding some sort of applying/writing balance.  Ever since I finished editing Traditor I’ve been completely focused on finding and applying to agents (and Tor, of course).  I’d love to start writing the second book, but whenever I sit down to work on it I feel guilty that I’m taking time away from my applications. 
 
Conundrum.
 
Maybe I should keep applying for the next month or so, really pushing myself to get Traditor out there.  Then I can work on the second book over my Christmas break—I’ll be off for 2 weeks, so hopefully I’ll have the time.
 
That may be the plan I follow. 
 

Another issue, which is fairly embarrassing, is that I’m actually kind of nervous to start on the second book.  First off, no one has picked up the first yet, which makes me worry that maybe I’m just a terrible, terrible writer.  Secondly, it’s actually pretty intimidating.  I think once I got into the swing of writing every day again it wouldn’t be a big deal…but for right now, even though I have the beginning already drafted, starting work seems downright daunting.

 

Oh well, I’m sure once I sit down and focus it’ll all come back to me.  I’ve been trying not to think about it too much, because I don’t want to wear out the ideas, but I have the entire book pretty much sketched out in my head.  And actually, writing it should be pretty cathartic for me, given some of the subject material…

 

Guess that’s it for now!  Gotta get this blog posted, then it’s back to the grind.  So: “painful though parting be, I bow to you as I see you off to distant clouds.”

Anything Can Happen, Child, ANYTHING Can Be

Another break, another blog.  I guess I should start this one out with a little bit of writing news…
 

I FINISHED EDITING MY BOOK!!!

 

Woo!  Very, very exciting…though I will miss reading and tweaking my story every day. 

(Is it self-centered to say that?  Do I care?)

Seriously, I’m super happy that it’s edited, and I feel a lot better about it as a whole.  I feel like it’s much more cohesive and believable, and that it captures the mood I wanted to convey better than it did before.  Besides, I actually ended up liking the characters more once I made them more human.

Scary.

So what did I do on my lunch break today, you might ask?  Well, freed (however unwillingly) from the shackles of editing, I decided to do what I’m always telling everyone else to do: MAN UP.  I did just that, and finally sent off a query to another agent.  That means I have two out right now, though I think the last one I sent is a no  ;{ 

I haven’t heard back from them yet, and I sent it out on September 20^th.  I hear if an agent likes your work you’ll hear from them within 1-3 weeks.  I’m willing to allow myself to believe that they are either madly overworked or on vacation, however, so I’m still holding out some hope. 

Anyway, the submission today was incredibly nerve-wracking.  Not actually writing it—I’ve had it written for weeks, waiting to go—but because they don’t mention a writing sample.  Not the first three chapters, not the first ten pages, not even a separate synopsis to give them a fuller idea of what the hell your book’s about.  Just a query.

Absolutely terrifying.

I wavered back and forth about just attaching the damn sample (or pasting it below the letter, which would be the wiser course), but I kept imagining the agent tossing my submission away for disregarding their instructions (or, rather, for providing something for which they did not ask).  Finally I just took a deep breath, hit send, and then wept into my keyboard.

Okay, okay, I didn’t weep.  In fact I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Still, a query with no sample?  Almost as confusing as the grocery store I encountered that didn’t sell beer.  Makes you feel that all is not right with the world.

So, what will I do now?

That’s a good question (and, as I’m the only one who reads this blog, one that makes me seem slightly schizophrenic*).  The plan is to knock together a longer synopsis over the next few days, so that I can finally send out a submission to Tor books.  Evidently they accept unsolicited manuscripts, but they have very specific guidelines and I don’t want to fuck it up. 

After I’ve applied to Tor I’ll probably start work on book two: Bryn & Mer: Damnatio Memoriae.  I’ll (hopefully) continue applying to approximately 1 agent per week (though it may be more like 1 every 2  or 3 weeks, depending on how hard they are to find, how much I have to tweak my submission package, etc.).  Everyone tells you that submitting your book over and over and over is incredibly depressing: and they’re right, it is.  Aside from some personal heartache, that’s probably the biggest reason I’ve been down these last few weeks (the third biggest being my job, the fourth looking for jobs, the fifth all my friends moving away, the sixth lack of ice cream^†…).  However I just need to keep telling myself that Madeleine L'Engle was rejected 26 times for A Wrinkle in Time, and J.K. Rowling only got Harry Potter published because a bored publisher’s daughter got her hands on the manuscript.  It’ll happen.  I have to believe that it will happen.

 

Anyway, break’s over, so I must bring the blog to a close.  Until next time, fearless readers!

 

* I had a note to put here, but the voices distracted me…

 

^† 7-26 are all lack of ice cream as well.  There’s nothing more depressing than a day without ice cream.   


 

For The Children, They Mark, And The Children, They Know

I feel like I only blog now in my spare time.  That’s sad…but since I have so little spare time lately, the fact that I’ll dedicate it to ranting about my book is admirableish, if I do say so myself.
 
Anyway, I’m not editing on this lunch break because I went to mail my tax return for Virginia (long story) and, as it turns out, FedEx can’t mail to that IRS office any more, due to the shutdown or ineptitude or general congressassery*.  I’m super pissed, and dunno how I’ll get my shit to the post office (seeing as they’re all closed or on reduced hours as well), but that, evidently, is the new plan.  Irksome. 
 
As for the editing, it’s actually going really well.  I’ve been very down these past few months, and especially so recently, but even just fiddling with my book seems to be helping.  Some. 
 
I have had to rewrite several sections, and they’ve turned out much better.  That’s also helpful.
 
I’m currently about 39 pages from the finish, which (when you consider that the manuscript is something like 380 pages) is hardly anything at all!  90% done!
 
Editor applications, however, are another story (pun intended!).  I just do not have the time outside of work right now, and my work lunch time is currently dedicated to editing.  I’m so busy that I feel like I’m not even sleeping.  I haven’t vacuumed in something like two weeks, I need to scrub my stove and toilet, and I really should spend more time with my cat.  Plus I ought to rest…before I snap and really do throw myself off the balcony here at work.  Tempting…
 
Seriously, though, I figure I’ll focus on applications once I’m finished with editing.  Once the book is edited I can use these lunch sessions to research and apply to publishers, leaving my evenings free to find a new job (which I desperately need).
 
Anyway, my break is almost up, and I think I’ll spend the rest of it staring out the window and drinking my hot cider (yum!).  Ciao for now.
 
 
Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: only 10% left to edit!
Writing Mode: Wistful; and, for the most part, enjoying reading my own work

 

 

*I’ma go ahead and coin this word right now

Cupio Dissolvi

Blogging today instead of editing because I am mad siiiiiiccckkkkkk.

 

Honestly, I feel so ill that all I wanna do is curl up in bed for a week.  It’s my own fault…I ran around like a crazy person last week, stressing over a work trip I was planning, staying out far too late and drinking far too much at a wedding I attended this weekend, and getting myself all worked up over things that make me unhappy, but over which I have no control. 

 

So now I’m sick.  Everything tastes funny (particularly the sparkling water I foolishly bought thinking it might clear my throat), I ache all over, I’m exhausted, and one side of my face is so congested it feels paralyzed. 

 

Attractive.

 

However I’m able to function like a normal human being (except for the stupid mistakes I keep making), so I figured I still ought to come in to work.  Blah.

 

I was sick yesterday, too, but managed to do a good bit of editing.  I’m 3/4ths of the way through the novel now!  I’m super excited about finishing—still hope that I can get through the rest of it by Christmas. 

 

Yesterday was a rough day, editing-wise.  I was in the middle of editing a sex scene while on my lunch break at work…already awkward.  And as we all know, nothing gets ya in the mood for lovin’ like a snotty, achy, full-body cold.  Right?

 

…no? 

 

…well, that explains my difficulty, then.  However I managed to shake it off long enough to add an additional paragraph or two to the scene, edit the rest, cut a huge awkward portion of writing out afterwards, and finish my editing for the day.  I’m satisfied (at least for now) with the way it turned out, and just want to keep working…as soon as I feel better.  Got to keep going if I wanna reach that Christmas deadline!

 

Oh!  Almost forgot the most important thing: I submitted to another agent!  I really like the look and attitude of this one…I think she could be a really great fit.  We’ll see if she thinks the same…probably not, I know, but one cannot live without a little hope!

 

On a completely different note, I have a script I desperately want to start working on…it’s called Plus One, and it’d be different from Bryn & Mer in nearly every way.  I’ve pushed it to the side, however, along with everything else I want to work on…the editing must come first!

 

I suppose that’s all for now.   ‘Till next time.

 

 

Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor

Word Count: 1,050 edited yesterday

Writing Mode: Plagued by the plague

“I Can't Afford To Spend My Time With Anyone--There's Only Enough Left For Myself"

Blah.  Still not sleeping.  And I only have about a minute left at lunch, so this'll be the shortest post of all time.

Was feeling awfully down this morning (partially due to lack of sleep, I'm sure), but even just working on editing Traditor really helped perk me up.  I only did 1,507 words today, but I had to completely re-write one section, so I don't feel too badly about the small number.  The section I re-wrote was the one I've been talking about for a while...it needed to be completely changed, and was the last big hurtle I foresaw before the end of the book.  Now that it's done, I can't imagine that editing will take that much longer!

Anyway, I've got to get back to work.  Until next time!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 1,507 (edited)
Writing Mode: Steady as she goes

Sleeping is Giving In

Someone once said that sleeping is giving in. If that's true then I want to give in and pass out right now. I slept maybe two or three hours last night, and I am TIRED.

On a happier note, it's finally Fall! It's a glorious September day, and I'm spending my somewhat-late lunch break sitting out in the lovely 73-degree sunshine on one of my office's balconies. It's a bit hot, but mostly because I'm in direct sun under a cloudless sky.
 
Anyway, on to the writing news. Honestly, there's not much. My Secret Lover forced me to spend the last two weeks aggressively "editing" (read: annihilating) my résumé and applying for an editing job with his work. We'll see how that pans out...I'm not holding my breath. But that does mean that I have a snazzy new résumé, cover letter, etc.!  I’ve refocused on writing, now, and spent the better part of Wednesday applying for a writer in residence fellowship with Hedgebrook.  Again, I have small hopes for this…however I do have hopes, and you never know: it might just pan out!  If it did I’d be taking two weeks off of work to do nothing but write, write, write all day and night, night, night.
 
And as for the books: Traditor is actually coming along swimmingly.  I’m more than halfway through, still editing like crazy, and I have a feeling it’s going to be easier from here on out.  I’m just finishing up with the section on the Dissenters…when I was still writing it was just after this section that I really hit my stride.  There’ll still be tweaks here and there, but I can’t imagine that it’ll take me much longer than Christmas to get the editing all finished up.  And then I’ll have nothing to do but apply to agents…and work on Damnatio Memoriae. 
 
And I’m dying to work on Damnatio Memoriae.  I’m brimming with ideas, and sometimes it’s torture not to be writing them all down. 
 
At least I have the opening scene written.
 
Applying to agents fell by the wayside while I was gutting my résumé; however I have every intention of getting back to it, and soon.  My schedule is crazy for the next month (two months?), but I have one submission package very nearly finished, and another not much further from completion.  I’d like to get those sent off before my birthday, and then work on some of the packages that are less prepared. 
 
Anyway, I have about half an hour of lunch left, and my mum just called.  Ciao for now! 

Well, It's A Little Early To Be Wallowing Around In Russian Angst

Ugh…coming back from vacation is incredibly brutal.  Just spent a wonderful week up in Maine with my family, hanging out at the beach, riding roller coasters and writing whenever I got the chance (read: whenever I wasn’t whipping my cousins with keys, eating peppermint stick ice cream, or hunting down Moxie).  I did get some writing done, but I also got a rejection from The Blair Partnership.

Le sigh.

Anyway, I have a few new agencies I’m looking at, so I’m re-working one section of my novel, then I’ll send out submissions (including the first three chapters!) to the Stimola Literary Studio, McIntosh & Otis, and Tor Books.  I’m also looking at Writers House, and would be very interested in Christopher Little if their submissions weren’t currently closed.  Hopefully they’ll open back up again soon…though unfortunately they’re probably inundated because of the J.K. Rowling revelations. 

Meanwhile, I’m getting some good writing done. I’m completely re-writing a section of my book, as I mentioned above.  It’s turning out very well, though I do have some misgivings if I should swap the jobs of two minor characters.

Eh bien…

I think that the most important realization (or re-realization) I had over the past week came from something my cousin said.  She was talking about people who do what they love for a living, and wondering if eventually the passion disappears and it just becomes work.  I said that it probably depends on the person and the calling, but that I felt sure that some people could pursue their dream and love it indefinitely.  We went on to talk about what I’d like to do for a living, and it just served to reaffirm that what I want more than anything is to be a writer.  As I tell pretty much everyone, I want to be J.B. Fletcher when I grow up.

So I guess that’s it for tonight!  Back to the grind tomorrow.  The only silver lining in sight is that means I’ll be back to lunchtime writing/editing, as well. 

Good night, Cabot Cove!

Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor

Word Count: 5,737 written this week

Writing Mode: Disappointed, but reinvigorated