Endings and (Hopefully) Beginnings

I was going to write this post before the holiday, but I got busy and ran out of time. It was initially going to be a happy, crowing, self-congratulatory post about how many query letters I’ve sent out over the past month.  Then, a day after Thanksgiving, I got a rejection from Sara Crowe, an agent I’d only queried two days before.
 
That put a bit of a damper on things.
 
Still, I’ve been steadily sending out query packages, and feel kind of okay about the application process.  I sent out one application in September and one in October; in November, however, I managed to get out four.  I’ll have to follow up with these, and continue the push of applying through the end of December.  No positive news (or even feedback) as yet, but hopefully something’ll come along if I just keep applying
 
I’m having mixed feelings about the book in general at the minute.  Looking at it overall, I actually really like it.  I find it engaging, sometimes funny, occasionally poignant, and somewhat thought-provoking (if I do say so myself).  However, the more I look at it the more I wonder if it’ll ever get published.  I’m not exactly sure what publishers are looking for, and while I think Traditor could do well and make them happy, I don’t know if they see what they want in my submissions.  Maybe I need to somehow re-work the cover letter.
 
Either way, even if it never gets picked up I still want to write the other two books.  Maybe it’s a waste of time, as some have said, and maybe I should switch to a new project.  But the Bryn & Mer trilogy is a story that lives inside of me, and needs to find passage into the world…even if mine are the only eyes ever to see it.
 
That being said, I have been thinking about trying my hand at romance (in my copious amounts of free time).  I hear it pays well, and there’s a HUGE demand for it (as opposed to silly little novels about love and morality and defiance).  I have a couple of ideas, and had a rough sketch for a short story that I jotted down a few years ago.  Maybe I could flesh (hehe, flesh) that out a bit and see where it goes.  It doesn’t inspire me like Bryn & Mer, but maybe it could be a nice mental break…and a good source of $$$.
 
Ideas for romance themes/situations are welcome.
 
And on a related note: I think I’m giving up on dating.
 
I know this doesn’t seem at all writing-related, but bear with me.
 
I’ve known for a long time that I’m just over the dating scene.  I’m honestly not good at it…one, I never get picked up in bars/at parties/pretty much anywhere (except by homeless men and the mentally-handicapped; which, though sweet, says nothing flattering about me I’m afraid).  I tried online dating, which resulted in a swath of illiterate, grotesque emails and several dates, all of which were colossal train wrecks.  I’ve had crushes and tried my very best to put myself out there, only to be shot down. 
 
I’m just tired.  And there’s something beautiful in saying “no, I’m not going to do it anymore.”  People insist on telling me that “it’ll happen when you’re least expecting it.”  Well, I’ve been “least expecting it” for the past year, and nothing’s doin’.  Since finally declaring myself done, I’ve stopped looking at all attractive ladies and gents as potential Mr. or Mrs. Right.  I’ve stopped freaking out that I might not be put-together enough to catch my future wife or husband’s eye.  I’m sad, but I also feel an odd, cloying sense of peace. 
 
And, honestly, relief.
 
So how does this relate to writing?
 
Well, hopefully it’ll free up a lot of resources, both emotional and horological.  If I’m less invested in romantic pursuits, maybe I’ll have more energy and ability to focus on my books.  Additionally, if I spend less time searching for and mooning over people, maybe I’ll use that time to write (and apply for jobs, and plan my future single-motherdom, and figure out what I’m doing with my life). 
 
(Okay, okay; it’s a bit of a stretch.  Still, it’s something I’m dealing with right now, and I just needed to get it out).
 
Anyway, I guess that’s it for now.  I’ve got to post this blog and finish my lunch.  Bright spot on the horizon: after work I’m going to the Holiday Market!  Super excited!  And hopefully my antiquarian bookseller will be there, with beautiful 1800s-era volumes of Sherlock Holmes (just like last year).  ::Swoon::
 
 
À bientôt!
 
 
P.S. I just made up a terrible joke.  What did French Dorothy Gale say to her dog?  À bienTôto!
 
...this is the caliber of writer I am.  #nevergettingpublished #nojokeswithoutcoffee #itskindafunnythough

 

I Have A Life To Live, And I Need To Live It In The Best Way Possible

Hello again! I'm writing to you from the confines of the secret, abandoned office, whose floor I will need to clean shortly as I am spilling pizza everywhere.
 
Still, despite the ‘leave no trace’ attitude that use of a hidden office necessitates, this is probably the very best thing that’s happened to me in the last 6 months at work.  Having a little place to get away, where no one can find me and watch me and bother me and ask me for things is such a relief.  Every time I walk into the office I breathe a huge sigh.
 
…though they did take away the poster board that hid me completely from view.  Sadness.
 
Anyway, onward to what you’re all here to hear about: writing news. 
 
Yesterday I finished my submission package for Tor Books.  They accept unsolicited manuscripts, it appears, and so I’m planning to send in my book!  It might actually be a really good fit…despite being a thriller, Traditor has a definite sci-fi spin.  It’s set in the future, it deals with advanced technology, it imagines a dystopian society, etc. etc. 
 
Anyway, the submission package took forever to complete.  I had to completely re-write my cover letter, lengthen my synopsis, and shorten my writing sample.  Nightmarish.  Then I had to go back through and reformat EVERYTHING.
 
It’s done now, though!  I just ran out to buy stamps, so I’ll be posting it (they only accept snail mail submissions) later today.  I’ve gone over the submission guidelines a thousand times, but I’m still nervous that I’ve missed something.  Hopefully not…
 
 
So one thing I’m having difficulty with is finding some sort of applying/writing balance.  Ever since I finished editing Traditor I’ve been completely focused on finding and applying to agents (and Tor, of course).  I’d love to start writing the second book, but whenever I sit down to work on it I feel guilty that I’m taking time away from my applications. 
 
Conundrum.
 
Maybe I should keep applying for the next month or so, really pushing myself to get Traditor out there.  Then I can work on the second book over my Christmas break—I’ll be off for 2 weeks, so hopefully I’ll have the time.
 
That may be the plan I follow. 
 

Another issue, which is fairly embarrassing, is that I’m actually kind of nervous to start on the second book.  First off, no one has picked up the first yet, which makes me worry that maybe I’m just a terrible, terrible writer.  Secondly, it’s actually pretty intimidating.  I think once I got into the swing of writing every day again it wouldn’t be a big deal…but for right now, even though I have the beginning already drafted, starting work seems downright daunting.

 

Oh well, I’m sure once I sit down and focus it’ll all come back to me.  I’ve been trying not to think about it too much, because I don’t want to wear out the ideas, but I have the entire book pretty much sketched out in my head.  And actually, writing it should be pretty cathartic for me, given some of the subject material…

 

Guess that’s it for now!  Gotta get this blog posted, then it’s back to the grind.  So: “painful though parting be, I bow to you as I see you off to distant clouds.”

Anything Can Happen, Child, ANYTHING Can Be

Another break, another blog.  I guess I should start this one out with a little bit of writing news…
 

I FINISHED EDITING MY BOOK!!!

 

Woo!  Very, very exciting…though I will miss reading and tweaking my story every day. 

(Is it self-centered to say that?  Do I care?)

Seriously, I’m super happy that it’s edited, and I feel a lot better about it as a whole.  I feel like it’s much more cohesive and believable, and that it captures the mood I wanted to convey better than it did before.  Besides, I actually ended up liking the characters more once I made them more human.

Scary.

So what did I do on my lunch break today, you might ask?  Well, freed (however unwillingly) from the shackles of editing, I decided to do what I’m always telling everyone else to do: MAN UP.  I did just that, and finally sent off a query to another agent.  That means I have two out right now, though I think the last one I sent is a no  ;{ 

I haven’t heard back from them yet, and I sent it out on September 20^th.  I hear if an agent likes your work you’ll hear from them within 1-3 weeks.  I’m willing to allow myself to believe that they are either madly overworked or on vacation, however, so I’m still holding out some hope. 

Anyway, the submission today was incredibly nerve-wracking.  Not actually writing it—I’ve had it written for weeks, waiting to go—but because they don’t mention a writing sample.  Not the first three chapters, not the first ten pages, not even a separate synopsis to give them a fuller idea of what the hell your book’s about.  Just a query.

Absolutely terrifying.

I wavered back and forth about just attaching the damn sample (or pasting it below the letter, which would be the wiser course), but I kept imagining the agent tossing my submission away for disregarding their instructions (or, rather, for providing something for which they did not ask).  Finally I just took a deep breath, hit send, and then wept into my keyboard.

Okay, okay, I didn’t weep.  In fact I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Still, a query with no sample?  Almost as confusing as the grocery store I encountered that didn’t sell beer.  Makes you feel that all is not right with the world.

So, what will I do now?

That’s a good question (and, as I’m the only one who reads this blog, one that makes me seem slightly schizophrenic*).  The plan is to knock together a longer synopsis over the next few days, so that I can finally send out a submission to Tor books.  Evidently they accept unsolicited manuscripts, but they have very specific guidelines and I don’t want to fuck it up. 

After I’ve applied to Tor I’ll probably start work on book two: Bryn & Mer: Damnatio Memoriae.  I’ll (hopefully) continue applying to approximately 1 agent per week (though it may be more like 1 every 2  or 3 weeks, depending on how hard they are to find, how much I have to tweak my submission package, etc.).  Everyone tells you that submitting your book over and over and over is incredibly depressing: and they’re right, it is.  Aside from some personal heartache, that’s probably the biggest reason I’ve been down these last few weeks (the third biggest being my job, the fourth looking for jobs, the fifth all my friends moving away, the sixth lack of ice cream^†…).  However I just need to keep telling myself that Madeleine L'Engle was rejected 26 times for A Wrinkle in Time, and J.K. Rowling only got Harry Potter published because a bored publisher’s daughter got her hands on the manuscript.  It’ll happen.  I have to believe that it will happen.

 

Anyway, break’s over, so I must bring the blog to a close.  Until next time, fearless readers!

 

* I had a note to put here, but the voices distracted me…

 

^† 7-26 are all lack of ice cream as well.  There’s nothing more depressing than a day without ice cream.   


 

For The Children, They Mark, And The Children, They Know

I feel like I only blog now in my spare time.  That’s sad…but since I have so little spare time lately, the fact that I’ll dedicate it to ranting about my book is admirableish, if I do say so myself.
 
Anyway, I’m not editing on this lunch break because I went to mail my tax return for Virginia (long story) and, as it turns out, FedEx can’t mail to that IRS office any more, due to the shutdown or ineptitude or general congressassery*.  I’m super pissed, and dunno how I’ll get my shit to the post office (seeing as they’re all closed or on reduced hours as well), but that, evidently, is the new plan.  Irksome. 
 
As for the editing, it’s actually going really well.  I’ve been very down these past few months, and especially so recently, but even just fiddling with my book seems to be helping.  Some. 
 
I have had to rewrite several sections, and they’ve turned out much better.  That’s also helpful.
 
I’m currently about 39 pages from the finish, which (when you consider that the manuscript is something like 380 pages) is hardly anything at all!  90% done!
 
Editor applications, however, are another story (pun intended!).  I just do not have the time outside of work right now, and my work lunch time is currently dedicated to editing.  I’m so busy that I feel like I’m not even sleeping.  I haven’t vacuumed in something like two weeks, I need to scrub my stove and toilet, and I really should spend more time with my cat.  Plus I ought to rest…before I snap and really do throw myself off the balcony here at work.  Tempting…
 
Seriously, though, I figure I’ll focus on applications once I’m finished with editing.  Once the book is edited I can use these lunch sessions to research and apply to publishers, leaving my evenings free to find a new job (which I desperately need).
 
Anyway, my break is almost up, and I think I’ll spend the rest of it staring out the window and drinking my hot cider (yum!).  Ciao for now.
 
 
Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: only 10% left to edit!
Writing Mode: Wistful; and, for the most part, enjoying reading my own work

 

 

*I’ma go ahead and coin this word right now

Cupio Dissolvi

Blogging today instead of editing because I am mad siiiiiiccckkkkkk.

 

Honestly, I feel so ill that all I wanna do is curl up in bed for a week.  It’s my own fault…I ran around like a crazy person last week, stressing over a work trip I was planning, staying out far too late and drinking far too much at a wedding I attended this weekend, and getting myself all worked up over things that make me unhappy, but over which I have no control. 

 

So now I’m sick.  Everything tastes funny (particularly the sparkling water I foolishly bought thinking it might clear my throat), I ache all over, I’m exhausted, and one side of my face is so congested it feels paralyzed. 

 

Attractive.

 

However I’m able to function like a normal human being (except for the stupid mistakes I keep making), so I figured I still ought to come in to work.  Blah.

 

I was sick yesterday, too, but managed to do a good bit of editing.  I’m 3/4ths of the way through the novel now!  I’m super excited about finishing—still hope that I can get through the rest of it by Christmas. 

 

Yesterday was a rough day, editing-wise.  I was in the middle of editing a sex scene while on my lunch break at work…already awkward.  And as we all know, nothing gets ya in the mood for lovin’ like a snotty, achy, full-body cold.  Right?

 

…no? 

 

…well, that explains my difficulty, then.  However I managed to shake it off long enough to add an additional paragraph or two to the scene, edit the rest, cut a huge awkward portion of writing out afterwards, and finish my editing for the day.  I’m satisfied (at least for now) with the way it turned out, and just want to keep working…as soon as I feel better.  Got to keep going if I wanna reach that Christmas deadline!

 

Oh!  Almost forgot the most important thing: I submitted to another agent!  I really like the look and attitude of this one…I think she could be a really great fit.  We’ll see if she thinks the same…probably not, I know, but one cannot live without a little hope!

 

On a completely different note, I have a script I desperately want to start working on…it’s called Plus One, and it’d be different from Bryn & Mer in nearly every way.  I’ve pushed it to the side, however, along with everything else I want to work on…the editing must come first!

 

I suppose that’s all for now.   ‘Till next time.

 

 

Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor

Word Count: 1,050 edited yesterday

Writing Mode: Plagued by the plague

“I Can't Afford To Spend My Time With Anyone--There's Only Enough Left For Myself"

Blah.  Still not sleeping.  And I only have about a minute left at lunch, so this'll be the shortest post of all time.

Was feeling awfully down this morning (partially due to lack of sleep, I'm sure), but even just working on editing Traditor really helped perk me up.  I only did 1,507 words today, but I had to completely re-write one section, so I don't feel too badly about the small number.  The section I re-wrote was the one I've been talking about for a while...it needed to be completely changed, and was the last big hurtle I foresaw before the end of the book.  Now that it's done, I can't imagine that editing will take that much longer!

Anyway, I've got to get back to work.  Until next time!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 1,507 (edited)
Writing Mode: Steady as she goes

Sleeping is Giving In

Someone once said that sleeping is giving in. If that's true then I want to give in and pass out right now. I slept maybe two or three hours last night, and I am TIRED.

On a happier note, it's finally Fall! It's a glorious September day, and I'm spending my somewhat-late lunch break sitting out in the lovely 73-degree sunshine on one of my office's balconies. It's a bit hot, but mostly because I'm in direct sun under a cloudless sky.
 
Anyway, on to the writing news. Honestly, there's not much. My Secret Lover forced me to spend the last two weeks aggressively "editing" (read: annihilating) my résumé and applying for an editing job with his work. We'll see how that pans out...I'm not holding my breath. But that does mean that I have a snazzy new résumé, cover letter, etc.!  I’ve refocused on writing, now, and spent the better part of Wednesday applying for a writer in residence fellowship with Hedgebrook.  Again, I have small hopes for this…however I do have hopes, and you never know: it might just pan out!  If it did I’d be taking two weeks off of work to do nothing but write, write, write all day and night, night, night.
 
And as for the books: Traditor is actually coming along swimmingly.  I’m more than halfway through, still editing like crazy, and I have a feeling it’s going to be easier from here on out.  I’m just finishing up with the section on the Dissenters…when I was still writing it was just after this section that I really hit my stride.  There’ll still be tweaks here and there, but I can’t imagine that it’ll take me much longer than Christmas to get the editing all finished up.  And then I’ll have nothing to do but apply to agents…and work on Damnatio Memoriae. 
 
And I’m dying to work on Damnatio Memoriae.  I’m brimming with ideas, and sometimes it’s torture not to be writing them all down. 
 
At least I have the opening scene written.
 
Applying to agents fell by the wayside while I was gutting my résumé; however I have every intention of getting back to it, and soon.  My schedule is crazy for the next month (two months?), but I have one submission package very nearly finished, and another not much further from completion.  I’d like to get those sent off before my birthday, and then work on some of the packages that are less prepared. 
 
Anyway, I have about half an hour of lunch left, and my mum just called.  Ciao for now! 

Well, It's A Little Early To Be Wallowing Around In Russian Angst

Ugh…coming back from vacation is incredibly brutal.  Just spent a wonderful week up in Maine with my family, hanging out at the beach, riding roller coasters and writing whenever I got the chance (read: whenever I wasn’t whipping my cousins with keys, eating peppermint stick ice cream, or hunting down Moxie).  I did get some writing done, but I also got a rejection from The Blair Partnership.

Le sigh.

Anyway, I have a few new agencies I’m looking at, so I’m re-working one section of my novel, then I’ll send out submissions (including the first three chapters!) to the Stimola Literary Studio, McIntosh & Otis, and Tor Books.  I’m also looking at Writers House, and would be very interested in Christopher Little if their submissions weren’t currently closed.  Hopefully they’ll open back up again soon…though unfortunately they’re probably inundated because of the J.K. Rowling revelations. 

Meanwhile, I’m getting some good writing done. I’m completely re-writing a section of my book, as I mentioned above.  It’s turning out very well, though I do have some misgivings if I should swap the jobs of two minor characters.

Eh bien…

I think that the most important realization (or re-realization) I had over the past week came from something my cousin said.  She was talking about people who do what they love for a living, and wondering if eventually the passion disappears and it just becomes work.  I said that it probably depends on the person and the calling, but that I felt sure that some people could pursue their dream and love it indefinitely.  We went on to talk about what I’d like to do for a living, and it just served to reaffirm that what I want more than anything is to be a writer.  As I tell pretty much everyone, I want to be J.B. Fletcher when I grow up.

So I guess that’s it for tonight!  Back to the grind tomorrow.  The only silver lining in sight is that means I’ll be back to lunchtime writing/editing, as well. 

Good night, Cabot Cove!

Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor

Word Count: 5,737 written this week

Writing Mode: Disappointed, but reinvigorated

The World is Always Ready to Receive Talent with Open Arms

What's rattling around my head today...

Not particularly writing-related, but I would love, love, LOVE to start a school for gifted children.  I think about it all the time (I will admit: more often when I'm re-reading the Harry Potter series).  Honestly, though, the idea has been with me for a long time.  I was never particularly happy in school, and often felt unchallenged; except, of course, in math class, where I not only felt over-challenged but completely lost.  One of the hazards of having dyscalculia, I suppose.

Anyway, I'd love to start a boarding school where gifted children could go to learn at their own pace (read: faster than the slow-ass system I went through).  We'd offer both traditional and non-traditional subjects, a diverse range of clubs/activities, a strong focus on both the Arts and science, and a supportive atmosphere that would encourage our students and help them deal with adolescent issues--particularly those specific to gifted children.  I'd love to have a class structure similar to Oxford: very small classes, lots of discussion.  Less busywork and more actual learning.

The school would be called Lantern House, after an exercise they had us do in one of the gifted education courses that I took.

The motto would be "Knowledge is Freedom," and our class rings would be plain rose gold bands with the words "Caveat Futurum" stamped on one side, with our lantern symbol on the other.

...I haven't thought about this at all...

I keep lists of my ideas for the school, and am always coming up with something new.  So why don't I pursue it?

One word: funding. 

In order to create the kind of environment I'd want I'd basically have to win the lotto...and then dedicate every dollar to Lantern House.  Unless I run into quite a lot of money (and a really killer financial planner), Lantern House will remain a dream.

...at least for now.

Anyway, back to writing news.  As always, I'm just editing, editing, editing.  Thus far this week I've gotten through 3,088 words.  Still have to do another 2kish to get me up to my weekly goal of 5,000, but that shouldn't be an issue.  I'm actually hoping to do much more than 5k per week, and be done (if possible!) by September.  I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility, so that's my current goal.

I will say, I have a fair bit of rewriting coming up, so that's going to slow me down.  My total for yesterday was much lower than normal not because I was unfocused, but because I wrote an entirely new scene.  I feel like it strengthened the Bryn-Mer bond, and also gave Mer a bit more depth as a character.  At least, I hope it did all of that.  It's entirely possible that it's weak and superfluous  :p

So...on to the REAL writing news: the Blair Partnership.

I am still holding out hope that they simply haven't gotten around to calling/emailing me (I'm never the quintessential girl by the phone in relationships, but evidently I am when it comes to literary agents).  I've decided I'll give them until the end of this week, then send over a little note asking if they received my submission.  Hopefully it didn't get lost in the swirling miasma of cyberspace. 

(It didn't get lost in the miasma of cyberspace, Amy: they're just not that into you.)

Anyway, gotta prep other submission packets (just in case!  They could still call!) and look for jobs this weekend...after I rest up from fam time & sailing class.

Is it vacation yet?


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor 
Word Count (edited): 3,088 (this week)
Writing Mode: Full of blahination.  That's a word, right?


P.S. The title of today's blog is from the fortune I got last night at a Chinese restaurant.  Now I just need to determine if I have any talent  ;}~

What Makes The Desert Beautiful Is That Somewhere It Hides A Well

A stressful end to a stressful week. 

I'm at what I like to call Stress Level Alpha: a stress level so high that my eye has started twitching and last night I wasn't able to sleep.  Anyone who knows me knows that me not being able to sleep is like Peter Pan not being able to fly: it just isn't right.  Or perhaps I'm turning into Peter Banning at last.

They say that bad things come in threes, and as much as I don't believe in bullshit like that, it seems to ring true.  First and foremost, last night I found out that two of my very good friends are moving to Hawaii...by the end of the month.  This is in addition to my other friend who's bailing for Portland (Oregon) sometime around the 20th.  I'll miss them terribly...and I'm worried that I'll be stuck here, all alone, in a city I've been trying to escape for twenty years.

Secondly, my family is full of drama.  My sister and mother are butting heads; and I, as usual, am stuck in the middle.  I think that's what started the eye-twitching.  I just need to keep everyone happy a few days more...

And, finally, I still haven't heard from my first-choice agent.  It's not a surprise, really, but I'd almost rather just get the rejection than suffer through this interminable waiting.  If I don't hear from them by Monday I'm allowed to send them a little email reminding them of my submission.  I'm tempted, honestly, to send them a clip from the Abba song "Take a Chance on Me," as it'd be a funny way to express my desperation.  Besides, then every time they heard it (and as long as it was stuck in their heads) they'd be reminded of me...

I'm trying to cut back on dreaming, but when I allow myself to dream I imagine receiving a letter from The Blair Partnership at the very last minute, congratulating me on being accepted by their agency and detailing marketing plans for my book.  I've somehow gotten it into my head that if I can only find representation, everything else will be okay.  Or at least on the path towards okay. 

At least it'd be validation.

Anyway, none of this angst is going to further my writing.  I'm 839 words into Damnatio Memoriae and over halfway done editing Traditor.  I think that the editing will be much faster from here on out--at least, I hope it will.  I feel like I really hit my writing stride after Bryn & Mer left Dissenter headquarters, and I've nearly edited to that point.  There are several scenes I need to re-write, but I still hope to be done by Christmas--if not sooner.

And as for Damnatio Memoriae, I've spent hardly any time on it (839 words?  Ppft, obviously).  Still, what little I've written seems strong, and is a telling introduction to the story.  I already have edits to what I've written, and I'm itching to write more, so I feel fairly certain that when I actually focus on DM it should progress swiftly.

Anyway, I have half a lunch break left, and I ought to use it to get in a little more editing. 

In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Damnatio Memoriae
Word Count: 839
Writing Mode: On hold for editing of Traditor

Tomorrow We Will Run Faster

I once took a test which told you out of all the literary characters in the world which you would be.  Ignoring only the question on gender, I made my way through the test. 

Pages of questions later I was ready to receive my result.  I clicked next, and was given my answer...

Jay Gatsby.

I'm no millionaire genius, nor am I hung up on some chick who can't be bothered to care for her child (or take any real part in her own life).  Still, Gatsby and I do share some similarities.  Both sailors, both poor.  Both nearly destroyed by one relationship.  Both almost--but not quite--Oxford (wo)men.  Both driven towards success, yet repulsed by the party culture in which the successful live. 

Above all, both obsessed with the green light.

For Gatsby, this was Daisy; but more than that, it was the wealth, the power, and the sense of belonging that old money seemed to enjoy. 

For me, it is writing.

I have other loves: film, for example, and gifted education, and travel.  But being able to call myself a writer is something I want more than anything else in the world.

My friend once said something that stuck with me.  I was with him at a party, introducing him as a tattoo artist.  He corrected me, saying he was just a tattooist.  I asked what he meant...what the difference was.  He said:

"Anyone can pick up a tattoo gun and ink someone...that doesn't make you a tattoo artist.  Being a tattoo artist is something that takes time, and talent, and real artistry.  It's something you earn.  Until I feel like I've earned it I don't want to call myself a tattoo artist."

This resonated with me.  I've met a million people who scribble down half a short story or a prosaic sonnet and call themselves writers.  And if that works for them, so be it.  But I don't want to call myself a writer until I truly feel like I've earned it.  Until I'm holding Traditor in my hands, with Damnatio Memoriae on the way, I'll always refer to myself as an aspiring writer.

And on that note, I'm going to go do a little research on literary agencies...just in case The Blair Partnership doesn't get back to me (or does, and answers no).

Good night you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Damnatio Memoriae
Word Count: 140
Writing Mode: Dozy, but driven

Expecto Patronum

So I'm starting to get a little nervous.

It's been 6 weeks and I still haven't heard back from The Blair Partnership.  I know I have two more weeks before they said I should hear...but I feel like the fact that I've yet to be contacted is not a good sign.

Going to try to convince myself that they're just super busy and haven't had time to look over my submission...

Anyway, still mired in the ceaseless slog of editing.  It's actually not that bad...I've managed to get through 5,522 words this week, and may work on it a bit this weekend, too.  I have visions of myself camped out on the grass, laying on a blanket, editing happily in the sunshine...

...just so long as I remember my pepper spray...

Anyway, editing may not be the most fascinating thing in the world, but it has its upsides.  I'm getting to re-read the book and finding that it's not as hopeless a cause as I'd originally assumed.  I've been able to tweak the characters, aligning them more closely with the people in my head (writing is just schizophrenia on paper), and am cutting or completely re-writing the scenes I wasn't sure about on the first pass.  It's almost like I'm a sculptor, carving through the rough stone to discover an unknown form beneath. 

Not necessarily a GOOD form, but we'll see.

Ta!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Damnatio Memoriae
Word Count: 100ish
Writing Mode: Hellz yeah I started a new book!  #booktwo #brynandmerftw #caveatlector

Awards, and Good Press; Write Well and Publish

Writing: the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the starship Traditor.  It's continuing mission: to explore strange new words, to seek out new plots, and new characterizations, to boldly go where no tale has gone before!

Aloha once again, fearless readers.  I figure it's been long enough that I probably owe you another blog post, and so here we are. 

If I blog less now than I did when I got started it's probably because not as much changes when you're editing.  Yes, I might change some words, cut out an extra paragraph here and there, or even tweak an entire character, but it's nowhere near as exciting as discovering a new twist as you're writing, or finally getting to put down a long-planned plot point.  Editing's just...editing. 

That being said, I did realize that an upcoming scene needs to be completely re-written.  First I'm gonna hack out about half of the time that Bryn & Mer spend at Dissenter HQ, and then I'm changing their flight into the wilderness so that Mer has a much more active role.  Right now both she and Bryn are a little passive, but with a few tweaks Mer'll be able to show a glimpse of the strong, active character she will turn out to be.

As for the publishing front, pretty much everything's the same there, too.  I have just over 3 weeks until I'm supposed to hear back from the agent I solicited.  I've started checking my email several times a day in hopes of a letter from them, even though I know that if they wanted me they would've probably already made contact.

I may start prepping a submission package for another agent, just in case.  I'm actually allowed to submit to multiple agents according to the first agent's guidelines, but I thought that, at least for the first time I send it out, I'd rather give it to them exclusively. 

(Probably a terrible decision, and a waste of time, but so it goes)

Anyway, I just wanted to jot off a quick post...I've got 20 minutes left of my lunch break and I think I'll use it to keep on chipping away at Traditor.

Aloha!

Do the Write Thing

Hello again, fearless readers!

It's a gorgeous sunny day, and as I'm supposed to be meeting my coworker on the 9th floor balcony for lunch I've decided to hold of editing (for now) and write a blog post instead.  I'm already out here, eating Indian food and crisping up a bit in the sun.  Everyone in the office seems to think I come out here for the tan...really it's for the fresh air, the free vitamin D, and to get the hexagon out from under the fluorescent lights.

Anyway, I ought to give an update on Bryn & Mer.  I've been working on editing slowly but surely, aiming for an average of 5,000 words per week.  I've been doing that easily, but it still doesn't seem to be going fast enough.  I'm just going to have to keep plugging along, telling myself that it'll get done eventually. 

I have another issue, however.  I'm working on cutting the story down a bit, but am having trouble deciding exactly what to cull.  I came across a bit last week that I could probably lose; however it provides a bit of background, and clarifies the characters' world for the reader.  I recently read a quote by some author, however, saying that most backstory is unnecessary.  Hum...

What I really need, honestly, is a reader.  Somone who'll go through my story from an outsider's perspective, telling me what's good, what's bad, and what makes me sound like an emo middle school scribbler.  I've thought about joining a writing group here in DC, but I'd like to find one that's fairly respectable, hopefully with at least one or two fairly practiced writers.  I'm also a bit concerned about copyright--what if someone steals my work?  I guess between the submissions I've sent out, the long email chain with various drafts, and this blog I could probably prove it was mine, however.

Anyway, just got a text from Lemon, the girl I was supposed to be meeting for lunch.  She's bailed, so I'll stop blogging for now and do a little editing instead.

Good night, and good luck.

Sic Semper Cotidianam

Blah.

All writing-related things seem to be stuck in a holding pattern lately.  I've submitted my book to an agent, but won't hear back for ages (July 14th, not that I'm counting).  I also just sent out a Sherlock Holmes short story called The Gift of Abu to The Strand Magazine...not sure when (or if) I'll be hearing back from them. 

As for writing, I'm still working on editing my novel.  I'm fairly far along, but it's nowhere near as satisfying as actually writing.  I've been thinking about maybe starting on my next book in my free time...but then I feel like I should focus on editing this one as much as possible.  Conundrum.

Plus editing time is becoming harder and harder to find.  I usually edit at lunch, but between one thing and another my lunches have not been my own lately.  I'm going to try to set aside a fair part of the afternoon on Saturday for editing, though.

Anyway, at least I've got a novel and a short story out there.  Hopefully one or both will get picked up.

In non-writing-related news, this whole job thing is killing me.  I've had a couple of talks with people at my work recently, and they've all more or less said that there's no future there unless you go out, become an expert in some field, and then come back in.  Otherwise, they tell me, you get stuck in low-rung admin/assistant roles forever. 

Terrifying.

I've been looking for other jobs, but this is complicated by my newfound desire to only apply for jobs I don't think I'd hate.  As it turns out, such jobs are few and far between.  I applied for foreign service, but I'm too close to the upcoming test to get a good date, and thus will probably have to wait until September.  I may apply to teach English abroad, but I've still got to look into what programs/countries seem interesting.  I was thinking about picking up a class as an adjunct professor, but that has turned out to be much more problematic than anticipated. 

All in all, I'm a little lost.  Plus between not getting my full tax refund and trying to keep up with the expense of living in a city (yet driving constantly out to the burbs) I'm flat broke.  At this rate I'll have to pick up shifts as a waitress/at the movie theater.  Sigh.

Anyway, I guess I should get back to my desk.  Ciao.

I Am A Leaf On The Wind...Watch How I Soar

At long, long last I can finally admit the truth...

I finished my novel.

Let me say that again: I FINISHED MY NOVEL!!!

February 16, 2013: the day that Traditor was finished.  A total of 152,857 words (at the time...I've been paring down since then). 

I spent a good part of the day in my local coffee shop, Pound, writing away while my buddy looked for jobs beside me.  When they kicked us out (they turn into a restaurant at night, closing for an hour from 4-5) we moved over to Cosi, where I wrote the last few sentences while staring out the window at a damp grey sky beyond the bare branches of the trees.

When I wrote the last sentence, put 'the end' at the bottom of the page like a garnish on some culinary masterpiece, I felt a a subtle yet pervasive sense of triumph.  There was no fanfare, there were no cheering crowds or publishers lining up to offer me contracts, but it didn't matter.  I created something.  Completed something real.  I finished my book. 

Since then I have been editing like crazy, making sure that it is as polished and vital as possible.

I bring this up now because, as promised, I just submitted my novel query to an agent.  I'm super nervous, but I hope that they'll at least want to read my full manuscript. 

Anyway, I suppose I should get off the couch and  get ready for meeting my friends.

Good night, and good luck.


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor 
Word Count: 151,976
Writing Mode: Moderately successful

Carpe Futurum

This is it.

Today is the day.

Today I am going to submit my query package to my top-choice literary agent.


...unless I chicken out.


I've been obsessing over this submission package for ages now, tweaking, re-writing, agonizing over every word, every metaphor, every period.  Could it be better than it is now?  Probably.  There's always room for improvement.  Nothing is ever perfect.  But if I continue to futz around I'll never send the damn thing out.  No, it's time.  Carpe futurum.  I'm going to make some toast (and maybe a bit of coffee), but then I'm sitting down for one final edit before sending it all out.

In other news, I've had a bit of a revelation about my book.

I've used excerpts from Traditor to apply to grad school and a fellowship, without success.  I've been convinced that this is due to a lack of talent on my part.  Maybe my writing wasn't engaging, or was too juvenile, or was just not good enough.  The other day I was thinking about a short story I wrote, "Human," and how I had much better (but still not good enough) luck when I was sending that out in place of Traditor.  Was that short story really that much better?

While I love that short story, and will always have a soft spot for it in my heart, I honestly feel that I've progressed as a writer.  Why, then, did literary programs respond so much more positively to "Human?"

I think it's because "Human" is a fairly literary piece, while Traditor is more commercial.  True, I've named Traditor's genre as 'literary thriller,' but it's still a much more commercial piece than "Human."  Much more Deathly Hallows than A Casual Vacancy, but not so far as The Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone.  Not that I'm anywhere near the skill level of any of that writing, of course. 

So that is what I'm telling myself: that schools and fellowships don't want me because my work isn't the high-minded, academic, abstract literary treatise that they're seeking.  I could be completely wrong...maybe my writing is just terrible.  But for the sake of my sanity I'm choosing not to believe that.

Anyway, I may die of hunger if I don't make some food, and I still have an hour or two of work to do on my submission package before it's ready to send out.  I can only hope my agent of choice is looking for what I'm offering.

Ta for now!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 151,976
Applying Mode: Resolute

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.”

Phew...why didn't anyone warn me that trying to get published would be so much work?  Finally finished my synopsis and now need to re-read and edit the entire submission package.  Writing fiction has become pretty easy (hint: that doesn't mean that I'm any good), but writing a query letter and story synopsis is just hell.  Plus trying to edit the beginning--the introduction to the rest of the book--down into 10 pages of action-packed, thought-provoking prose is just impossible.

Anyway, I've done the best I can...hopefully that's enough.

In other writing news, I am going crazy over this fellowship.  I applied months ago, and am supposed to find out absolutely no later than mid-April.  I know that there's no chance I got it, and that it's still way early to expect to hear...but I'm losing my mind. 

Bennett Fellowship committee, if you're reading this, please pick me!

And in actual book news, I'm oscillating.  Half the time I think my book is pretty damn awesome: a good first installment into what will hopefully become a great trilogy; the other half the time I think it's a hodgepodge of unoriginal ideas and is utter CRAP.  I hear this literary bipolar craziness is normal...but makes me nervous about my writing. 

The only thing that comforts me is that for every scene that needs to be rewritten (or banished to the bowels of hell) there's another that feels genuine and is (at least for me) pretty absorbing.

Caution: self-aggrandizing wannabe-author on the loose.

Anyway, this blog is far too stream-of-consciousness-sans-content to be allowed to continue.  Good night Neverland!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: ?
Writing Mode: ptfo

Burn, burn, burn

Just got done with my writing for the day!  I went back today to do a bit of editing...there were a bunch of things I neglected to put into writing, despite the fact that they were in the back of my mind.  The perils of rough drafts!

Anyway, went back and noted that John the Fox, a minor character (at least in this book) suffers from diabetes.  While he has almost no bearing on the story in Traditor, in the next, as-yet-unnamed installation of Bryn & Mer he will be a major character...and his disease essential to the story.  I knew he was diabetic when I wrote his part in Traditor; but at the time, just didn't know how to fit it in. 

I also need to note that Jonathan, the young Dissenter, has siblings--which is one of the major reasons he joined the Dissenters.  His family was killed/disappeared, leaving him (at 15) as the sole caretaker of his younger brothers and sister.  Rather than be taken into State custody he ran, falling in with a group of street children before joining the Dissenters.  I'll flesh this out more fully in the second book, but I at least need to hint at it in this one.

Also in the middle of attempting to submit Traditor to a publisher.  Need to write a synopsis (NIGHTMARE), as well as edit my excerpt and query letter.  Hope to get this done soon, though part of it depends on how long it'll take my friends (and hopefully a former teacher) to read through my submission docs and get me feedback.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be in a meeting right now, so I need to jet!  Laters!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: ??? I swear I'll update this one of these days...
Writing Mode: Inspired

These are the Times New Roman of Our Lives

I don't know why it is that I have no trouble whatsoever meeting deadlines for my writing, but I have a devil of a time keeping up with this blog.  Maybe it's because I can see my story in my head whereas this is just a sort of forum for keeping myself on track.  Maybe it's because I tend to write and write in whatever time I have available, scribbling away until I drop.  Kinda hard to turn your mind to a blog when you're emotionally (and, depending on how my hands are feeling, physically) wiped. 

Anyway, I figured I'd better update again!  I've been doing quite a bit of editing, as I'd like to get the first three chapters in good enough shape to send to an agent.  What stinks about that, of course, is that the first three chapters are nowhere near my favorite part of the book.  A friend suggested that I send the first three chapters, as per the agent's instructions, and then send a more compelling section as well.  Maybe put something in my cover letter saying: "here are the first three chapters, but I feel that this section is more compelling, so I'm including it as well.  If you can only read one, and you're willing to give me a little leeway, please read the 2nd selection."

Who knows.  This publishing business is a mess!  I can't send directly to a publisher, as none of them seem to accept unsolicited manuscripts any more.  Instead, I must find an agent.  But there are ten hundred thousand agents, and even if I could find one I liked who seemed sane/dedicated/trustworthy, it's incredibly unlikely that they'd pick my work...if they even read it.  I found one agent who I like quite a lot, and am going to send the first three chapters over...but it all seems so pie-in-the-sky. 

I guess the entire endeavor of writing is rather pie-in-the-sky, though.  Finding an agent, getting published, finding an audience for your work.  Even the fellowship I applied for is pie-in-the-sky...and speaking of, I'm going mad waiting on their letter.  I know I won't be chosen, but somehow until I get that letter in my hand I can't stop myself from holding out some hope.  Mid-April is when they said we'd know.  So far away...and yet so frighteningly close.  The thought of being selected as the Bennett fellow is a dream.  A year of focusing exclusively on my writing, while helping kids get started on projects of their own...it'd be magical.

Don't think about it, Amy.  Don't get your hopes up for something that you have only a 1 in 1,000 chance of getting.

And speaking of writing, I should use what little is left of my lunch break to work on it.  Until the next blog!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: TBD pending today's writing
Writing Mode: Reflective

Addicted To The Written Word

All caught up on my writing!

Just finished my 500 for today--I took a lunch with Jim & Liz at work and thus didn't write during my lunch break: instead I waited until I got home.  Yesterday I got all caught up and then some, and today I kept up with it.

Today's bit of writing was especially interesting: Mer is experiencing a sort of controlled amnesia (damn those tricksy Company Men!) and has been convinced that Bryn is her enemy.  My writing both yesterday and today concerned a scene where she had to choose who to believe: Bryn or Community, Incorporated.  It's one of the darker scenes I've written, and I tried combining my love of using short, choppy sentences in tense situations with almost second-flash intervals of writing.  Reading that sentence over I know it won't make sense to anyone but me...but the point is that I think (read: hope) that this tweaked style will convey the emptiness, the numbness, and the crushing feeling of being lost that Mer is experiencing in this scene. 

Anyway, I've got to shower, cook, and still try to get to bed at a reasonable hour.  Time to get going!

Live long and prosper!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 151,224 (broke 150k!)
Writing Mode: Satisfied  :}

With Another Squeeze They Must Go On Fire

Oh god so sleepy.

Just finished 619 words.

Not that much, but it means I'm only 165 words in the hole now.

I'll make that up tomorrow.

Goodnight Neverland.

Zzzzzzzz.......


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 149,931
Writing Mode: Zzzzzzzz.......

Steer For The Deep Waters Only

...for we are bound where mariner has not dared to go
and we will risk the ship, ourselves, and all


I always seem to write these things awfully late in the evening...has anyone else noticed that?  Half the time it's because I've been writing and didn't finish up 'till late, and the other half of the time...

...well, the other half of the time I'm just lazy.

That has not been the reason for my even-longer-than-normal absence, however.  No, that was due to

Conference Season

The most evil time of the year, and one that I hope to weather more smoothly in the future.  I had a hand in 5 conferences over the span of two weeks...two of which I was coordinating.  I didn't take lunch, worked 12-hour days, and had to summon all of my kolinahr skillz to keep myself sane.  

As a result, I am behind on my writing.  I don't feel too badly, though...I'm only a little behind, and will probably be able to make it up over the next day or so.  Normally being at all behind makes me crazy...but after the last couple of weeks I'm willing to cut myself a little slack.

That being said, the book is coming along swimmingly!  That isn't to say that things have gotten any better for our heroes (hint: they haven't) but I just (FINALLY) got through a particularly slow and painful section.  Now I'm coming up on a scene that I've been DYING to write for MONTHS.  I'll have to make sure I get it right (and don't give in to my perpetual desire to s t r e t c h  e v e r y t h i n g  o u t), but I think it'll be fun to write.

Book stuff aside (pshaw, who wants to talk about book stuff on a blog dedicated to my book?) my friend Michelle is coming into town!  I'm super buzzed: we were at Oxford together, but then she decided (as punishment for my imitable awesomeness, I am forced to assume) to move into the very mouth of Mount Doom.  That's right, faithful readers: she moved to Texas.

Fortunately she has arranged an escape, and will be coming to DC (with my godson!) for about a month.  I am chuffed beyond belief  :}

Anyway, I'm going to try and catch up on some of my writing, so à bientôt!

Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor

Word Count: 149,312

Writing Mode: Sleeeeeepy.  Is tomorrow really Monday???



Crescit Eundo

I really, REALLY need to go to bed.  I was even tired tonight...possibly because I hardly slept at all last night.  Or, you know...throughout the last week in general.

Blargh.

It's been a rough week.  Work is incredibly stressful at the moment, and probably will be until the second week of February.  I'm still brokeish from Christmas, and have been having a bit of an existential crisis in my personal life.  Fun fun fun. 

Despite all of this (or perhaps because of it) I'm still keeping up with my writing.  I was a bit behind from one day last week (I skipped one day to have lunch with coworkers) but made it up today.  In addition, I completely re-edited the original scene I wrote for the book, which actually occurs fairly late in the story.  I had to tweak it to work with the earlier events I'd written, and still have to go back and fiddle with one of the characters as he appears in the beginning of the book.  So much editing to do, so little time...at least until that far-off day when I finally finish the book.  Then instead of writing 500 words per day I'll be editing 500 words per day.

...fun fun fun.

I'm coming up on a very interesting part, however, so when I'm less burned out (read: hopefully tomorrow after a good night's sleep) I'll have some really fun writing to do. 

And on that note, I'm going to (finally) be a good little worker bee and hit the hay.*

Zzzzzzzz...


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 145,019
Writing Mode: Exhausted, yet pleased


*Most mixed metaphor of all time?  I think so.

The Manuscript Reveals Their Lopsided Fate

Ugh...I am going to pay for being up so late tomorrow.

But it was for a good cause!

Just finished writing for today...and boy, was it a day for writing.  A day among days.


Today I killed my favorite character.


I will not say who it is (mostly because my buddy V is in the middle of what I've got so far and I promised I wouldn't spoil the surprise), but it was a wrench.  In fact, I might go back and add to the scene...though I kind of like how simple (and sudden) it is now.  Oh well.

Speaking of editing, I have so much to do that it's becoming daunting...and I haven't even finished the damn book yet.  Crazy! 

On the other hand, I've really enjoyed the editing I've done so far, so maybe it won't be so bad  :}

So yeah...that's all for now, folks.  I feel peppy but I can already tell that I'm gonna be destroyed when I wake up in exactly...4 hours.  UGH.

Good night, Neverland!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 143,614
Writing Mode: If I didn't have work tomorrow I'd write right through the night!*


*That sounds like a writing charity event, or something from the very end of NaNoWriMo.  Write Through the Night: finish your book and support literacy at the same time!  $20 to a national literacy foundation for every hour you stay up past 12am!

It's late.  Good night all!

Want To Change The World? There's Nothing To It...

At lunch, just finished writing for the day, and am going to be late getting back to work if I don't run!  I guess what I'm saying is that, as always, this'll just be a quick post.

Anyway, my writing is going very smoothly lately.  All last week was pretty easy: kept up with my 500 every day, no making up necessary.  Same thing thus far this week.  I'm about to kill off a character, and am 93% excited, 6% sad, 4% philosophical, and 2% butterscotch ripple.  That's 105 percent!

...I'll assume that none of you got that reference and move on.

Anyway, I've been having trouble getting away from my writing lately.  It's all I think about...all I want to do.  Out with friends, having fun on the town, paying calls...I find my thoughts wandering back to my book.  The further along I get the harder it is to stop.  Soon I'll be writing morning, noon, and night!

Anyway, I was serious about having to go.  Ciao!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: ???
Writing Mode: Obsessive yet cock blocked by work

Debating How We're Here, They're Catching Deer (We're Catching Viruses)

Aliiiiiveeee...it's ALIIIIIVEEEEEE!!!

Yes, that's right: I've managed to survive my latest sickness.  If only barely.

I swear, next year I'm going in for one of those nasal flu immunization things.  Sick twice in one season?  NOT FAIR!

Despite my most recent run-in with what I can only assume is the Black Death, I'm doing okay.  My cold has subsided into a mild cough that only troubles me when I laugh, which I'll take any day in place of the soul-crushing aching, migraines, coughing, stuffiness, sleepless nights, and general misery that plagued me over the past week.  Oh, I forgot one symptom: exhaustion.  Still haven't gotten rid of that one...if I didn't have so much to do I'd probably just pass out now.

...except then I'd miss Big Bang Theory.  That would be sadness.

So!  On to my writing.

It's going well, over all.  I'm ragged after the holiday season and all of my traveling, but I'm keeping up with my 500 words per day.  I gave myself both Christmas and New Year's Eve off, though I think I actually wrote enough to cover at least one of them.  Today I wrote 550 words, and am pretty pleased with what I've gotten.  After all, this is a sort of tricky part.  I feel like I say that all the time, now, but that's just because it's taking forever to get through one giant sticky part.  Anyway, I've got to somehow go from Mer being happy/grateful/relieved that Pilot is alive to confronting her about abandoning them in the first place.  Awkward.  I think I know how I'm gonna do it...but honestly, it's a little too 'Harry Potter circa book 5' for my liking.  Not big on angst.  Oh well.  Someone needs to tell Pilot off--she really has it coming--and that someone's got to be Mer.  It'll help Mer grow as a character, and also give Pilot the push she needs to complete her redemption. 

Blah, too convoluted!  Can't I just go back to writing sex scenes?

...Actually, please don't make me go back to that.  It was fun, but jesus was it difficult.  There's what I like to think of as the 'Sex-Scene Straddle.'  Basically, there's a fine, fine line (name that song!) between a love scene that's sappy/dull and one that's way over the top/fit for a porno.  If you can somehow straddle that line, dipping your toe into either camp without ever quite stepping in, then you might write a decent sex scene.  Yes, only decent.  I'm sure there's a way to write a good sex scene; but if there is, I haven't yet discovered it.

And so that's all for now, folks!  Time for me to toddle off into the shower.  Hopefully that'll only take an hour or so, after which I'll watch the Big Bang Theory, cook dinner, maybe make some guac, and then pass out.

Good night, sweet blog, parting is such sweet sorrow, that I may write good night 'till it be morrow.

...

Oh, who am I kidding?  Good night!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 138,396
Writing Mode: Trudging along

In Sickness & In Health...

So fun story...evidently the weariness and the achy wrists were not, in fact, simply a lack of sleep thing.  No, they were the precursors to a cold that hit with such violence that I spent an entire day just trying to convince myself that I wasn't dying.  I made it through that day, and am now (hopefully) on the mend...but juggling family time and writing was hard enough before I got sick.  Now it's just ridiculous!

Anyway, managed to squeeze out 743 words today.  Really, really slow going at first, but after 400 words or so I hit a rhythm, and was able to jot down Pilot's betrayal.  I may expand this section at a later time...but then again, maybe not.  For once I actually like the way it turned out!  The pacing is good--pretty fast, but still allowing time for Mer (and the reader) to work out that Pilot's not coming back.  The language was fun, too: I went with short, choppy sentences and really played with light/darkness.  It may actually be TERRIBLE, but I'm pretty happy with this section (at least for now.  When I start my editing, however, nothing shall be safe).

Anyway, that's enough self-aggrandizement for one evening.  Even though I did nothing it was a long day, and this stupid cold makes me feel like I haven't slept in a month.  I'm gonna go brush my teeth, take my sudafed, and try to sleep that I may live to write another day.  Good night you princes of Maine, you kings of New England!


Working Title: Bryn & Mer: Traditor
Word Count: 136,490
Writing Mode: Plague-ridden